SGA crack fic: Euclid's Lemma
Title: Euclid's Lemma
Author: Evangeline
Main pairing: McKay/Sheppard {other characters include Laura and Miko}
Rating: PG 13
WC: 5101
AN: rhiddle wins everything for putting up with me and ...this. ramen_addict gets a cupcake as well. This fic involves Atlantis personnel in a band. Please don't read it while sober. *goes into hiding*
Summary: "Most people would stop and think, hey, this looks kind of ominous, maybe I should leave it alone."

~*~

"Oh, dear. Colonel, you should probably come to the lab right away."

John resisted the very strong urge to break something with his head. With three hours to midnight, they had been so close to completing a non-eventful week. However, the scientists insisted on spending their weekends off playing in the labs, which wasn't conducive to things not going spectacularly wrong. He sighed and hoped nobody lost more than an eyebrow this time.

Stepping out of a transporter, he grudgingly made his way into the buzzing room, weaving through an excited crowd to get to rather pale looking Zelenka. "So what's today's cataclysmic event?"

"That," Zelenka choked out, pointing to three limp bodies that were being lifted onto stretchers for immediate transportation to the infirmary.

John frowned. He couldn't see their faces clearly from his vantage point but still he knew they were familiar, yet not. "New personnel from the Daedalus? I think you all might have overdone it with the welcome party. Will they be alright?"

Radek swallowed audibly. "I hope so. I will work on reverse engineering a prototype for that unfortunate Ancient device," he said, scowling at a seemingly artless cube glinting on an empty workstation, "but take another look, Colonel. They are not new personnel."

All three persons looked quite a bit smaller in frame than everybody else on staff, making them seem more youthful. Two were young women who couldn't have been old enough to drink, and the young man didn't look much older. John shrugged at Zelenka as they were wheeled out. "I got nothing."

"Imagine that young man fifteen years older, sneering at everything he deems intellectually inferior, and stealing your power bars while he dictates an imaginary letter of apology to your mother for your utter failure as a member of the human race."

John blinked. "Oh, you have got to be joking."

*

"...and it's not like he'd notice."

"It is not an honourable thing to do..."

"Alright, how about I peek and you keep a look out for me?"

"..."

"I've already seen it, I just want to see if it was much different before. Okay, I'm going to have to lift his sheet slowly so just make a noise if someone's coming-"

"Oh my god!" Rodney shrieked, bolting up in bed and clutching the covers protectively against his chest. Upon hearing his voice, he managed to look even more stricken than before, and he raised a hand up to his throat. "Oh, my god!" He looked at Laura, who was flushed with the effort of containing her mirth by biting her lower lip, and Miko, who was blushing for entirely different reasons. "You were going to molest me in my sleep!"

Laura rolled her eyes and hopped up to sit by the side of Rodney's bed. "I wasn't going to touch you in bad places, genius. Aren't you curious? I've already checked myself out in the bathroom. Man, I was a lot more flexible then."

Rodney made choking noises. "This doesn't give you permission to check out other people's private bits! And I was awake, you perverts. I'm sure Little Rodney's the exact same – wait, no, it's not little," he stammered as Laura snorted, "it's not! I was a tank!"

Miko looked like she was going to pass out on her bed while Laura howled with laughter into a pillow. It was then that Carson appeared looking like he was going from one specialized form of torture to another. "It's pandemonium out there. They all want to see you. I can't believe the things you get yourself into, McKay."

"Oi! It's your girlfriend's fault!" Rodney huffed as he poked the young woman who was now writhing in bed beside him. "It's not that funny," he ended sulkily.

Laura pulled the pillow off her face and gasped for air. "I just wanted to see the device. He's the one who kept batting me away while keeping it out of reach, Carson," she said, beaming at the haggard doctor.

He coughed and looked at everything but her. "I should check on the lab results," Carson said hurriedly, studying his shoes all the way out of their makeshift suite.

"What was that?" Laura asked, blinking after him.

"He's finally come to his senses," Rodney sniggered. A second later he was doubled over in pain, the air knocked out of his lungs.

"I may look younger but I can still break you, McKay." She slipped back into her own bed and turned to face Miko's side of the room, blocking Rodney out of her sight.

"He is only concerned for you," Miko said soothingly. "This must be troubling for him as well."

"I was just joking," Rodney wheezed in agreement, still clutching his abdomen. He'd quickly remembered this was not a woman he wanted to piss off, no matter how much she reminded him of a hot, teenaged Strawberry Shortcake at the moment, and god how wrong was that. "It's just the hair, and you're just hungry," he muttered to himself while trying to shake his head clear.

"So kids," John said, walking into the room like one about to face a car full of clowns, "who wants to tell Uncle Johnny a story?"

*

They were released later that afternoon, having spent the night in the infirmary and having extensive tests done on them all morning. "You're all healthier than before," Carson had said, shaking his head like one who wasn't surprised by much these days. He'd quickly excused himself to take care of overdue paperwork; Laura tossed her hair and didn't go after him because she wasn't that kind of girl.

"It's not like I grew another head," she huffed in the lunch line. Laura viciously chomped off the end of a carrot stick and Rodney winced.

"No, you just turned eighteen again," he scoffed, picking up three bowls of blue jello, which had miraculously reappeared on the lunch menu after an agonizing hiatus. The lunch lady smiled at him fondly, and he smiled back nervously, knowing she was a marine and could crush him with a finger.

Laura watched the silent exchange and leaned over to Miko, whispering, "I think someone has a crush."

"I do not," Rodney hissed back at them.

"I think she meant half of the middle-aged female staff, Dr. McKay," Miko said, giggling as she pushed up her glasses.

Sure enough, Rodney found he was being ogled from all directions in the mess. Many of the personnel were staring at them out of amusement or surprise, but some had a hunger in their eyes that dictated something more than professional curiosity. And most were focused on Rodney.

His ears burned along with his cheeks and he hurried through the rest of the line. "Hurry up, I want to sit and hopefully get swallowed by the bench."

"Aw, he's so cute when he's embarrassed," Laura cooed. "You know, you were pretty hot back then."

Rodney made affronted noises as Miko nodded, saying, "It is harder to be afraid of you when you don't take up as much space."

He stomped towards John's table and the girls followed, laughing heartily in his wake.

"Are the girls being mean to you, McKay?" John asked innocently, putting down the city's weekly paper, Atlantis Ascending. He'd been perusing Lorne's Lean Cuisine in the Arts and Living section.

"Shut up and hide me," Rodney said, using John as a shield against Simpson's cheeky leer and Katie Brown's wistful stare.

Laura and Miko further obscured him as they sat down across the table. "They're not going to eat you," Cadman said, rolling her eyes. "Unless they look at you from behind and discover your cherubim ass."

"You can't talk to me like that!" Rodney tugged on Sheppard's sleeve. "Tell her she can't talk to me like that!"

"The lieutenant can talk however she likes," John replied, beaming proudly at her.

"It is very strange to be in these bodies," Miko said suddenly, studying her small hand as she lifted a fork. "They are ours, but from another time."

John leaned forward and gave her his most reassuring smile, which looked the same as all his other smiles: vague, with a double shot of charm. "Zelenka's on the case. And if you two are up for it," he said, tilting his head to Rodney who was consoling himself with an almost-turkey sandwich, "you'd probably be able to speed up the process. Just try not to revert yourselves into the womb."

"This wouldn't have happened at all if a certain somebody didn't push the big red button," said Laura, tucking into her salad and openly eyeing McKay. "Most people would stop and think, hey, this looks kind of ominous, maybe I should leave it alone."

"You wanted to play with it as much as I did, miss grabby hands," growled Rodney, revealing masticated mystery meat as he spoke.

"And I was just walking by," Miko sighed.

"Children, settle down." That earned John three set of dagger eyes so he cleared his throat and tried again. "Erm, young adults, let's try to act our age," he said, which he amended to, "our actual ages."

"Fine, whatever, that's not a challenge for me," Rodney said, looking distracted. "Man, why am I still hungry? I feel like I could eat an extra large Mediterranean stuffed crust pizza by myself. Oh my god, do we have that?"

"Yeah, just look in the kitchen under the magic beans," John replied dryly.

As if on cue, the lunch lady walked by their table and placed two large sandwiches in front of Rodney. "Growing boys need to eat," she purred, giving him a saucy wink before going to refill the coffee machines, swaying her hips deliberately as she went.

"She's in my head," Rodney whispered fearfully.

"Or you're just really loud," John ventured.

"Besides," Laura said, grinning wickedly, "that's not the part of you she's interested in."

*

John had gathered all the intel he needed the first night he questioned them. There really wasn't much more to the story besides that one minute they were deciphering Ancient devices, and the next they were angsting over unrequited love and eating like linebackers. The teens tried to help Zelenka in the lab but were thrown out within the hour.

"Why do you insist on throwing me into the ball pit?" Zelenka fairly screamed at John when he'd dropped by to visit. "First with that cursed childrens' planet, and now those three! Do you see this?" he shrieked, flailing at the workstations, which looked like they'd just been through a hurricane. "Rodney spilled coffee over the simulation system, Miko set the screensavers to baby pandas, and Laura installed Bomber Man on all the computers! She challenged the scientists to beat her high score and now nobody is doing anything useful!"

Being the rational man that he is, John slowly slid out of the room before Radek could start insulting him in Czech. He wondered where those three had gone off to, but decided not to worry too much about it. They'd find something to do.

*

"I'm bored," Rodney said. He managed to make it sound like "I'm tired from doing nothing, there's sand in my shorts, I haven't gotten any in forever, and I think I'm hungry again. God, my life is so hard," as only a teenager could.

"We stole a puddle jumper," Laura said, shrugging. "Where do you wanna go?"

Miko looked out at the ocean, letting the water lap at her bare feet as she stood on the beach near the Athosian settlement. They were far enough away so that they wouldn't be spotted and reported to Atlantis base. After the various incidents in the lab today, a curfew would be set for sure, which was so not cool. She stared at the Ancient city gleaming in the late afternoon sun and smiled.

Turning to face the other two who were lazily sunbathing in their swim suits, Miko asked, "Can we stay here awhile?"

Rodney squirmed on his towel, trying to get the sand out of his shorts. "It's fine with me." He'd swiped the swimming trunks from a random dryer in the laundry room, knowing his own would be too large. It was blue with white swirls and the girls said it brought out his eyes. Who was he to go against colour coordination?

"That's fine," Laura agreed when Miko turned to her. She smiled at the other girl as she got up from her towel, dusted herself off, and held out a hand. "It'll be sunset soon. Wanna build a fire?"

Miko lit up at the suggestion and linked arms with Laura. They walked around picking up sticks for firewood, occasionally splashing each other when they got close to the water, sometimes leaning towards each other to share secrets and hushed laughter.

Rodney pretended not to watch them at first, but was soon smiling despite himself. Laura was vibrant in her mint green two-piece, a stark contrast to her deep, auburn hair, which was warm and inviting like a freshly baked pecan pie, Rodney though. And Miko was elegant in a wine-coloured one-piece, subtle yet striking, an understated beauty. Together they were electric, but they were quite amazing women on their own as well, and he wondered how he could have gone this long without fully realizing it. Suddenly, he felt somewhat awed to be their friend.

"Why do you put up with me?" he asked when he joined them, chuckling as he tossed a stick onto their growing pile.

The question was like a stray bullet but Miko dodged it and didn't ask where it came from. "You are so brilliant," she replied, and her simple, quiet words held such sincerity that they left Rodney reeling. "A falling star. My grandmother used to tell me that those are the most precious, fleeting and tragic, but burning so bright. You are like that, and you'll leave us far behind."

He had no answer to give so he just smiled at her, fidgeting on the spot, slightly embarrassed but thanking her in his own way.

"What's tragic is his personality," Laura commented after a while, and they laughed as Rodney kicked sand at her, missing for the most part.

They built their fire as the day waned into night.

*

Rodney had gone to the settlement to try and snatch some food and blankets while keeping under the radar. He'd never been a subtle sort of guy, however, and was discovered by Halling while rummaging through the dry food stores. It took a while to explain why he had a full head of slightly curly hair again, but in the end the tall Athosian just shook his head fondly, and gave him a basket of savoury bread, blankets, and booze.

"The nights are cool on the mainland," Halling said, giving him a meaningful look. "It gives the body warmth."

"Right," Rodney replied, giving the other man an awkward pat on the back.

He'd made his way back with arms heavy-laden and the girls cheered when they saw him.

"Now this is a party," Laura declared, helping him put their loot down. "We disabled the tracker on the jumper while you were gone."

Miko grinned. "They will not be able to find us."

They had all changed back to shirts and jeans but the air was chilly so they huddled close together around the fire, using blankets for extra warmth. The bread was a meal in itself and they lay comfortably on the sand after eating, full and content. Rodney started a game of Prime, Not Prime but lost to Miko enough times that he decided to quit while still ahead. Laura pointed out the planets she'd visited, and she took a great swig from the liquor bottle when she got to the one on which she and Rodney rematerialized into the same body.

"And you thought being in the same general area was emotionally scarring," she said, nudging Miko who was giggling at everyone and everything. "Try being inside him."

"Must you word it like that?" Rodney moaned, snatching the bottle and taking three gulps. "You could say you were inside my astonishingly gifted mind. That sounds more manly."

"It strokes your overly inflated ego, that's what it sounds like," Laura said with the first hint of a slur. "Ooh, I know what I could stroke."

"Uh oh," said Rodney, tightening his grip on the blanket below his waist as he watched her get up and walk into the puddle jumper. "What's she doing?"

"Getting something to stroke?" Miko said, bursting out in laughter before snatching the bottle. "I'm so drunk," she announced, drinking liberally.

Laura came back with a guitar. "I put it in the back before we left," she said delightedly. "We can sing camp songs!"

"I don't know any," Miko said, turning onto her stomach and looking crestfallen.

"Me neither," said Rodney, wobbling as he sat up. "My mom didn't think I'd do well in a camp setting. Something about social retardation and verbal diarrhea. I think she was implying the other kids would eat me in my sleep."

"We'll just have to make our own songs up, then," Laura decided. She strummed out a chord and started playing a simple melody. "Go," she said, nodding to Rodney.

"Erm. Okay," he said, clearing his throat. He closed his eyes and swayed inadvertently. "John looks like a rent boy/ when he leans in the doorway/ the women swoon/ outside the moon/ is rising and so is he."

"Oh my god!" Laura shrieked, barely able to keep playing.

Miko howled into her palms. "Keep going!"

"His hair defies gravity/ he tends to act on a whim/ even the city/ thinks he's pretty/ and it lights up just for him."

Miko wiped tears of unadulterated glee from her face. Laura gasped between laughing fits. "I can't breathe."

Rodney went all out on the chorus, wailing his very soul up into the heavens. "So tell me what do I do/ what do I sa-ay/ at the end of they day, I'm just/ the guy watching your six. And if this is all I have/ then I'll keep watch from afar/ let you take to the sky/ ‘cause I'm just another guy."

Miko was first to recover. "You can be an alto!"

Laura grinned manically. "I think you might be gay for John."

Rodney flopped onto his back. "Shit."

*

"We will not speak of last night," Rodney growled, by way of greeting.

Laura yawned and kicked off the half of the blanket that covered her. "G'morning."

"A little person is dancing on my brain," Miko groaned, clutching at her head.

"Ever!" Rodney yelled adamantly, which earned him a fistful of sand in the face from Miko's direction.

"Please," Laura said, waving a hand dismissively. "We all knew you wanted to tap that ages ago."

Rodney coughed up sand. "I don't want to tap anything! There is no tapping going on! What do you mean by all?"

"Inanimate objects know about your thing for the colonel," Laura began, but took pity upon on the boy's stricken expression. "Alright, I knew about it before you did, having been in your head and all."

"Thanks for the recap," Rodney snapped. He then moaned into his palms. "Why do these things always happen when I'm drunk? There was that time with Radek and the donut holes, then having to explain banana hammocks to Carson, and the cucumbers with Ronon, we were discussing how to pickle it. Trust me, you don't want to know."

He looked like he was earnestly contemplating burying his head in the sand. "I hadn't realized I've been paying attention, but I can actually tell what kind of mood he's in by the sway of his hips." Rodney sighed at the raised eyebrows. "He's got the happy swagger, the sad swagger, the look-I'm-being-coy swagger – please don't make me list them all."

Out of nowhere came the sound of Miko's muffled giggles. "Sorry, but I cannot help feeling better knowing this was out of my hands from the start. I have a slot, and you like tabs."

"I'm so glad to have brought joy into your life," Rodney hissed, grabbing his blanket and storming into the puddle jumper. "You're both swimming back if you're not here in ten seconds!"

Laura scoffed. "He's so emotional."

Their reception was a bit more tempestuous than they had anticipated. John practically lifted Rodney out of the jumper and pushed him against its sidewall, yelling about Amber alerts and city sweeps and no dessert for a week. Rodney had commented on John's tragic eye bags, and was promptly sent to his room. Laura and Miko quietly made their escape during the tantrum scene.

"It's not fair! This wasn't even my idea," Rodney fumed, pacing around his quarters. "And I don't see how withholding dessert from me can be a justifiable punishment. I'm hypoglycemic! Is he trying to kill me?"

"There's sugar in everything else and you know it. Stop dramatizing," Laura said, stretching out on his bed. "Besides, you should try to hold on to that figure. It suits you better."

"Are you implying I was fat?" he screamed. "My bulk was pleasant! I may not have been a buff marine but I was cuddly!"

Miko nodded from his rolly chair, propelling herself from one end of the desk to the other. "You were like a human pillow."

"Um, thanks." Rodney massaged his temple, trying to soothe his throbbing veins. "He's going to give me an embolism one of these days," he sighed. "What are we supposed to do now? We're grounded."

"I don't know," Laura said, drawing circles in the air with her foot. "What do you want to do?" she asked Miko.

The other girl shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me."

Laura chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully. "Wanna steals drums and a synthesizer to form a band?"

Rodney and Miko shrugged. "Sure."

*

It was easy enough to hack Lorne's room open; the trick came in keeping the man distracted. The diversion was Laura clad in frayed jean shorts and a tied-up tee holding a bucket of suds and sponges, making her way to the jumper bay to have a little puddle-jumper wash party. She asked for help along the way and several off-duty marines and scientists eagerly volunteered their services. This included Lorne, famed to screech out 80's power ballads on his synthesizer as a form of stress relief, and Parrish, who liked to pound on things to work out frustration and bribed away his DVD collection in order to have his drums sent over in the last Daedalus run.

Rodney and Miko made a few laborious trips across the east wing, dodging random by-passers, utilizing the transporters as much as they could to speed up the pilfering process. Laura came back just as they lugged the rest of the drum set into Rodney's room, looking soapy and smug.

"Carson was totally jealous," she preened, wiping herself off with Rodney's towel while he ineffectually stammered his protest. "Someone configured an iPod to the system and isolated the intercom in the bay. It turned out to be a foam party!"

Rodney snorted. "Did you miss spring break in college or is this just your older man complex resurfacing?"

Laura made a face at him. "You just wish you'd seen John in his speedo."

"He didn't!" Rodney choked out, looking simultaneously appalled, pained, and excited.

"No, but you wish," Laura said, ducking to avoid the pillow thrown at her head.

Miko had set up the drums while they'd been bickering. She sat on the rolly chair and began to play a beat. "Cool," she said, grinning.

The next few days were spent writing songs about dissociated doctors, sentient hair, and the sexiness of hyperspace drives. Rodney also worked on his Super Awesome Plan to Exact Revenge While Looking Completely Innocent and Perhaps A Little Hot in Ripped Jeans ™. The girls sound-proofed the room, smiling sweetly when questioned by neighbouring scientists, saying, "We plan on making a lot of noise and we don't want to be a bother." That got rid of people quickly.

John started bringing a taser to the mess because of bone-chilling fear he experienced under the scrutiny of Rodney's half-manic stares. He couldn't decide if they were I'm-going-to-wear-an-orange-afro-and-oversized-shoes-and-jump-out-of-your-closet-wielding-a-machete looks, or bedroom eyes. It could be both, he though, but dismissed the notion because it made him want to cry.

Zelenka shooed Rodney away when he tried to help with the prototype on the grounds that his ass was a distraction to the lab techs. Rodney, being a whore for flattery, acquiesced and sauntered out, swaying his hips ‘for the good of science.'

When Lorne and Parrish finally reported the thefts, Laura called for an emergency meeting.

"We have to make our move now," she said, slapping the back of her hand onto her other palm. "Besides the search that they'll surely conduct, we don't know how much time we have left in these bodies. And I don't know about you but I'm less inclined to be reckless when I'm in my proper mind. At least this way, we have an excuse."

It was true. Being in their younger forms made them feel invulnerable, much like the way they felt at that age, before wormholes and the Wraith and seeing the world without rose-coloured glasses. These bodies remembered how to laze around on a Sunday afternoon, reading comics and drinking slushy lemonade. It made them optimistic and daring, and made them want to push boundaries and explore uncharted territories. These bodies remembered how to live first and ask questions later.

"Right," Miko said, pushing her glasses up. "I have a plan."

Saturday dinners were always crowded in the mess, more so than usual because it was chicken strips night, and the chicken was real. It was a heartening sight to behold, marines and scientists eating together. At first it was because of limited seating but these days it was more because the scientists realized the marines picked for this expedition had comparable intellectual currency and were therefore quite fetching, and the marines eventually came to find their inane astrophysical ramblings and propensity for walking into things rather charming.

It was high school all over again, and this was the perfect stage.

"Hello, Atlantis!" A few people squeaked in surprise as everybody turned this way and that trying to find the source of the sound. The cloth partition sectioning off a renovation area near the condiments table fell away to reveal a makeshift stage on which Rodney, Laura, and Miko stood, armed with instruments and mics.

"How are you feeling tonight?" Rodney yelled into the mic, pumping a fist into the air. He wore an outfit that involved chains and fake piercings; his hair was spiked though it was starting to curl at the ends. Several people got over the initial shock and gave somewhat confused yet eager whoops of encouragement.

Rodney shook his head. "No, no, no. I said, how are you feelin' tonight?"

At Rodney's teasing thrust of the hips, the screaming began and the stage was rushed by women and men alike. The juice just might have been spiked.

"Alright. We're Euclid's Lemma, and we have a little something for you this evening," he purred into the mic, sending the crowd into near-convulsions with his low murmurs.

"Take off your pants!"

"Oh my god, let me touch you!"

"Hey, is that my synth?"

All this time, John hadn't moved from his position at the table that just had to be closest to the stage, eyes twitching and hand raised while holding a spoon in mid-air. "I'm not seeing what I'm seeing."

"I think you are," Radek sighed, rubbing his temples.

Carson just sort of stared.

Rodney chuckled and waggled a naughty eyebrow at the crowd. "Now, now, there's plenty of me to share. Though I hope the person this song is dedicated to won't want to." He nodded at Miko, who counted them off.

"One, two, one two three four!"

Rodney's hands flew across black and white keys as Laura began to strum the harmony. She tossed her hair and gave Carson a challenging gaze.

"When you're walking through the gate and a local wants to get your business/ and all the lab techies want to open you up like Christmas/ you gotta wrap your package in a big blue bow/ ain't no hung marine gotta treat me like a ho/ I'm a snarky barky flexi bendy flyboy-lovey ghetto princess."

Miko chimed the triangle.

John considered crying.

"'Cause you're filthy!" Rodney seemed to be making love to his mic stand.

"Ooh, and gorgeous," Laura sang, lips quirking up at Carson, who seemed to be fading in and out of consciousness while sitting up.

"You're disgusting!" Rodney spat, licking his lips at John.

"Ooh, and you're nasty," Laura breathed into her mic, sending Carson off the bench.

"And you can grab me," Rodney sang, noting John's I'm-going-to-hold-you-to-that-naughty-boy gaze.

"Ooh, 'cause you're nasty!" Laura looked very pleased with herself.

There was pandemonium after the impromptu concert and Elizabeth had to order everyone back to their rooms. Carson stumbled after Laura and explained his odd behaviour of late, which apparently had something to do with feeling like a dirty old man for even looking at her in this state. She suggested several activities that would really make him one, and off they went. Miko had to fight off the advances of several personnel with persistent yells of, "but I'm married!"

Rodney wandered up and down the halls, pouting over his lost prey.

"Aren't you supposed to be in your room?" John asked, leaning against Rodney's door and looking infuriatingly smug.

Rodney whipped around and stomped back towards his quarters. "Yes, well, the whole point was to go in there with you!" he huffed. "What did you do, sleep with everybody else who was inebriated before seeking me out? That's it, I'm cutting out your picture and pasting it in the dictionary under manwhore!"

John pulled the young man closer by the belt loops of his jeans. "No, I just had to help herd the flock for a little bit," John grinned. He took Rodney's hand and ran it up under his shirt. "This is all yours."

"Oh, um, right, er," Rodney stammered, breathing heavily against John's cheek. "I'm all sweaty. I should probably take a shower first," he said, thinking the door open.

"It's alright," John replied, pulling him in. "I like it dirty."

~*~

This fic came about after looking at these pictures of David. I thought, hmm, I want to write a fic in which Rodney looks like that, and maybe I can even make a cover for my fic! After about five minutes on PSP, however, I realized why I never use it, but I wrote the fic anyway against any and all judgement.

To Euclid of Alexandria, I apologize, but this was out of my hands. I can't help it if Rodney wants to name his band after your work to try and impress John. Please do not haunt me.

The above song is a blatant rip of Filthy Gorgeous by Scissor Sisters. ♥